I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
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he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
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aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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