My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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