She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize