we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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