Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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