I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize