Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize