around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize