Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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