I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize