But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
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The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize