My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize