i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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