Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize