I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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