I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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