I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
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Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
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I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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