He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize