The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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