That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
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