If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i came on her dog
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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