i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
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