oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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