Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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