It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
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Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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