Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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