True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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