I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize