I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
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Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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