Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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