I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize