I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm like, not good at living.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize