So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
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i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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