i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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