I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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