He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
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He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
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I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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