OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize