he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So. Much. Porn.
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