I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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