Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize