my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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