Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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