If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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