do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I can't turn off my feet"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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