What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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