his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize