I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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