she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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