so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
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Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
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I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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