I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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